You're not alone if you find yourself repeatedly drawn into unhealthy relationships or patterns despite your best efforts. For women healing from narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships, these cycles often feel frustratingly familiar. But breaking free isn't about luck—it's about intentional healing, self-awareness, and aligning your life with what you truly deserve. Here's how to shift from attracting what drains you to manifesting relationships and experiences that nourish your soul.

Recognizing Unhealthy Patterns

Unhealthy patterns don't happen by accident; they often stem from unresolved trauma or deep-seated beliefs formed in past relationships. Perhaps you find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners or stay in relationships where your needs are overlooked. These patterns often reflect what felt familiar in abusive relationships. Start by reflecting on your past relationships to identify recurring themes and triggers. Journaling about what attracted you to certain people, how you felt in those relationships, and any red flags you might have ignored can offer powerful insights.

Uncovering Limiting Beliefs

Many of us carry subconscious beliefs that shape our relationships. Thoughts like, "I'm not worthy of healthy love," or "If I set boundaries, I'll be abandoned," can keep us stuck. Identifying these beliefs is crucial. Write them down, then challenge them by creating new affirmations that reflect your worth. For example, replace "I'm not enough" with "I am inherently worthy of love and respect."

Getting Clear on What You Want

Manifesting what you desire requires clarity. Reflect on the qualities you want in a relationship, such as mutual respect, emotional safety, and open communication. Go deeper by defining how you want to feel in your relationships—safe, valued, and heard. Writing down these desires helps you set a clear intention for what you're inviting into your life.

Aligning Your Actions with Your Desires

Manifestation isn't just about visualization—it's about action. If you want relationships that respect your boundaries, start by enforcing them in all areas of your life. Evaluate your current relationships and behaviors to ensure they align with what you want. Practice saying no to situations that don't serve you and prioritize your needs.

Shifting Your Energy

After emotional abuse, many women remain in survival mode, constantly on edge. Shifting into a mindset of abundance means believing you deserve love and respect. Incorporate daily practices like gratitude journaling, affirmations, and visualization to keep your focus on your worth and desires.

Healing Your Relationship with Yourself

Cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself is the cornerstone of attracting the love and respect you deserve. This means embracing self-love through daily acts of kindness to yourself, exploring passions that light you up, and acknowledging your worth even in moments of doubt. Engage in activities that bring you genuine joy, whether creative expression, mindful practices like yoga or meditation, or simply taking quiet time to reflect. Practice self-compassion by being gentle with yourself during challenges, offering the same understanding you would to a friend. When you nurture and prioritize your well-being, you naturally raise your standards and draw in relationships that honor and mirror your inherent value.

Trusting the Process

Manifesting healthy relationships is a journey that requires patience and consistency. Trust that every step you take will bring you closer to the love and respect you deserve. Remind yourself often that you are on the path to creating a life filled with fulfilling connections.

Breaking free from unhealthy patterns and manifesting your desired relationships starts with believing in your worth and taking intentional steps daily. You have the power to create the life you envision—one that honors your needs, boundaries, and deepest desires.

With love and healing,
Jillian